Shatter – Part Four

I apologize for the mass amount of updating you’re getting spammed with. It was just easier for our system to both separate these four parts but also publish them all at the same time.
Our apologies
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Six months Later – 2006

I am going to meet them today. For the first time since that day since I broke up with him.

Six months ago. That’s how long it has been. I did harbor some sort of anger, and hatred, towards both Uniballer and Texas. They essentially stabbed me in the back. They pretty much abandoned the group after they got back together (yes, the day after I broke up with him). Everyone was furious. Germany doesn’t talk to them. She tried to at one point, but doesn’t anymore. Katherine hates them.

Ah…Katherine. She’s the one who scooped me from my depression. Like Texas used to. I fell long and hard. Depressed, anorexia, some other mild things. I saw therapists.

Everything is much better now. And I’ve gained.

Katherine and I are together now. Like, a couple. I never thought I would…be with a girl. I don’t like any other girls. It’s just Katherine. I can’t really explain it. But I don’t care about the looks. It feels right. I’ve never been happier.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand.

I am going to really see them for the first time in a long time. I’m not sure exactly how to act. I’m not mad, or hateful anymore. I realized a couple days ago that I don’t think they did anything to be spiteful. They just wanted to be together. And finding Katherine, the love of my life, I understand this. They had to go through me, so to speak, to get to each other. And Uniballer’s brief going out with me the second time was almost a…softening. They tried to make it easier for me to let go. And he was distant, trying to show he didn’t really want to be with me. It hurt. It still hurts. But they didn’t understand. Just because they were ignorant does not mean they were malignant. And now, I want to pick up the pieces.

Start again.

Try to get that friendship back. Especially with Texas.

I miss her. Very much. I miss the close friendship we had…the late nights…the fascinating talks. We had such similar interests. I could talk about anything with her. Germany was too judgmental, and would shoot me down if she didn’t agree. And Katherine was too easily injured. But Texas…god. We could just talk. About anything. And there was no nod and smiles. Or just…zoning out. We were interested.

I miss that so much.

I know it’ll never be the same, but I hope it can be close. Katherine doesn’t want it. She doesn’t understand how close Texas and I became. She didn’t know about all the times Texas was at my house, and me at hers. The shoulder to cry on. We were such friends. I don’t know what happened to that. But I want to salvage something. Anything is better than nothing.

My fingers are crossed.

I do hope that this all isn’t for nothing. And I just hope.

Hope.

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This whole story was written in parts, during the times listed.  Pretty obvious by the changing in feelings.
I guess I should give a brief epilogue, considering this fourth part was written over 6 years ago.

Uniballer and Texas are no longer together.  She almost married him before finally realized how abusive and controlling he was.  He had power over us.

Katherine and I broke up about 2 years ago. It was really hard for us to re-read (adding the aliases, as the original had real names) and edit this. But I’ll save the story of Katherine for other posts. It’s a long and bittersweet one.

Germany and I are still best friends. Unfortunately her alias comes from the fact that she is currently living in Germany. I miss her desperately, but it’s a dream she’s had for as long as I can remember, so I’m also proud of her.

Texas and I repaired our relationship. We’ve since had a tentative close friendship. This is not the last she betrayed our trust, but somehow we always forgive her. Not really sure why.

Hmm…not sure what else to conclude with.
Oh. I suppose Uniballer’s alias. He only has one testicle. Rika has always called him that and we use it to de-vilify him and make him less trigger-y. He was always so proud of his “manliness”. Ha.

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