Message from my past

Well.  I’m attempting not to muck things up.  Kit just surfaced again and she’s already trying to figure out how to feel about what’s been done with the body in her absence.

Honestly, in my opinion, she decided to play ostrich.  None of us effin’ made her.  She doesn’t get to bitch about what we did.  We didn’t do anything illegal or that landed us in a hospital, which are the only bottom line requirements anyway.

But I am trying to not be a total bitch lately.

This morning I woke up to a message from a friend I used to get “chummy” with.  It’s not like we had a real relationship, considering the dude lives in Denver.  I really hate long-distance crap, so we were pretty just talking and joking around.  The occasional explicit “game”.  We met through a fetish website that I like to frequent.  It’s not like any one else in this stupid body is trying to “sate needs”.
Anyway, I hadn’t spoken to Raston since April. He dropped off the face of the planet and I didn’t particularly care, since it was an online friendship and I barely knew the guy.

However, his message this morning was explicit, and he is slipped into his dom role with me without my permission.
Kit was out initially checking various other morning online tasks like she does and when she saw the email she was all “WTF is this?”.

Obviously I had to take control.  I don’t want to freak her out in her delicate condition. Okay. And I’m a coward. I don’t want her to know what sort of things I was doing (MONTHS AGO).

But I’m torn on how to respond to Raston’s message.  I want to play.  God, I want to play so bad.  But it’s just a stupid online thing.  It’s text. It’s not someone actually touching me. That probably isn’t worth the shit-storm that will happen if I egg this guy on.

Dammit.

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