This weekend sucked.
I don’t really remember what caused the previous post. Obviously it was from Victoria, not me.
I do know that Friday night was a swirl of triggering from the storm and reflection on our life so far. Not sure why we were thinking about all that.
Okay. That’s a lie. Heh. Obviously don’t want to lie to myself, especially after the last post. I won’t do that.
I do know why we’ve been so reflect-y lately, but I don’t want to talk about it. Right now at least.
There was some self-harm, but it saved us from being even stupider, as it usually does. Victoria knows what she’s doing sometimes. I have a respect for her that I can’t seem to find for Daria at all, even though deep down, I know she technically serves a purpose too. But her violence towards Charlotte is unacceptable.
This weekend sucked because of Friday night but also after that, as we had a wicked bought of hypertension, migraine, nausea, and pain that kept us in bed (or the bathroom for throwing up) for the rest of the weekend.
So so much thanks and love to Shadow Dragon, who took lovely care of me over the weekend, even though she didn’t have to.
I’m still not sure about eating much, as even late last night when I attempted simple corn chips, my stomach was not happy.
I have managed a cup of hot apple cider, which is my comfort drink fall-back. It seems to have worked to settle it temporarily. I’ll try real food in a bit.
I obviously haven’t been online checking blogs or commenting, and I apologize for that.
I also apologize for the delay in my replies to your lovely comments of support on my last entry.
I did read them Saturday morning and even though I couldn’t bring myself to reply then, they meant so much to me and really made me feel better.
Thank you for being there when I had it rough.
I’m going to try to get back into the swing of the blogging circle here. Hopefully you’ll be patient with me. I’m having a really hard time reading others’ entries lately…
I know it’s unfair to make these connections and then just suddenly not be able to handle reading other people’s problems due to triggering and unstable-ness we’re having. That seems just terribly wrong.
I’m still here and supporting all of you, even if I can’t manage to read your concerns and comment. I’m so very sorry.
I also can’t talk about today’s Suicide Prevention Day. I know it’s important and you guys are great for posting about it. But I’m not strong enough at the moment. Especially after Friday.
Warm thoughts to all of you.