Alone With You

I don’t see you laugh
You don’t call me back
But you kiss me when you’re drunk

I don’t know your friends
Don’t know where you’ve been
Why are you the one I want

Don’t put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can’t stay
Don’t slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it’s okay
Don’t say it doesn’t mater cause it’s gonna matter to me

I can’t be alone with
You’ve got me out on the edge every time you call
And I know it would kill me if I fall
I can’t be alone with you

Pleas don’t chain that door
I can’t win this war
Your body’s like a pill I shouldn’t take

Don’t put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can’t stay
Don’t slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it’s okay
Don’t say it doesn’t mater cause it’s gonna matter to me

I can’t be alone with
You’ve got me out on the edge every time you call
And I know it would kill me if I fall
I can’t be alone with you

I can’t be alone with you

Don’t put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can’t stay
Don’t slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it’s okay
Don’t say you’re gone love me cause you’re gonna love me and leave

I can’t be alone with
You’ve got me out on the edge every time you call
And I know it would kill me if I fall
I can’t be alone with you

I don’t see you laugh
You don’t call me back
But you kiss me when you’re drunk
-Alone with You, Jake Owen

This weekend has my head spinning and my emotions tied in knots.

I spent Friday night with Army.  Every time I let him back in a bit of me always feels resigned to pain.  I don’t think this is how relationships should be.   But I don’t think I deserve any better.  I don’t think I want anyone else.

I’m not sure where I stand or where to go from here.

I am lost.

11 thoughts on “Alone With You

  1. Carol anne

    O hon, dont stay just cuase you think you must. A relationship isnt worth that much pain or stress. If he isnt right, you’ll find someone who is. You’ve got so much more worth. I can tell from this your torn though. I wish you gentle healing

    Reply
    1. Pen Post author

      But when he’s wonderful he’s so wonderful…..it’s just….no one makes me feel as beautiful and cherished as he does…
      Then when he’s distant or distracted….it’s awful.

      I think the extreme highs and lows are me though. Not him. I think there’s something wrong with me.

      Reply
      1. Carol anne

        Have you tried talking? Its stupid, I mean probably you have. Does he know of the did? It could be partly the did. Relationships and did are so hard to do.

      2. Pen Post author

        Nononono. He does not know we are broken. He won’t know. Nonono. We don’t tell people if unless under duress. Not even closest friends and family know (besides 2 exceptions- very special circumstances)
        Not important. My struggle. Mineminemine.
        No need to share.
        I am not crazy.

      3. Carol anne

        Maybe he wont think you are. The c word. Well cuz you so arent. I’m sorry if I upset you hon. Xo

      4. Pen Post author

        Oh no, it isn’t you. Your thoughts and support are always welcome. I was in a dark place last night. Insomnia and the weekend conspired on me.
        I’m sorry if I affected you negatively. That wasn’t my intention at all.

  2. Phoenix Rising

    Oh no, I know this feeling all too well. We’ve been where you are, and you have my complete sympathy and empathy. I know this struggle, and it’s heartwrenching. I’m so sorry, I wish I could say the right thing and make things better, but I know that the only person who can sort out the feelings is you. But I can and will validate that your feelings are normal, that I remember feeling the same way, and that it’s not all down to you, he has an equal part in this too.

    You have my support and my friendship, all of ours, and we all care about you. *hugs*

    Nick

    Reply
    1. Pen Post author

      Thank you. The validation and support mean so much. I know it’s really only me, myself, and I that can untangle this mess.

      But it’s nice to know there are those who are listening 🙂

      Much thanks ❤

      Reply

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