I hesitate to call it “home” yet. Still brand new.
Just moved into my own place yesterday. It’s a one bedroom apartment. Not super small, but not super huge (which I’d feel uncomfortably lonely in anyway without others).
It’s really close to work, which I love. It’s pretty centrally located to a lot of my friends and family, which I also love.
However….I didn’t sleep well last night (my first night). Zoe was on edge too. She was glued to my side, her face either on my shoulder, chest, or half on my head. She would growl softly for no disernable reason occasionally. And I was on an air mattress because yesterday was pouring rain, so we couldn’t move my mattress and boxspring.
Things I learned:
1. I need my bed. Seriously. My back is pretty hateful today. And I think it would help Zoe too.
2. Noises are really magnified in a new place when you’re by yourself. May need to play music softly for a couple nights.
3. Comforting Zoe did help push away my own freaked-out feelings. The “I’maloneI’maloneI’malone” mantra was distant in the head when trying to help Zoe settle.
4. I did not self-harm.
5. I managed a bit of bacon and two of these coconut strips like are sort of like candy, but sugar and gluten free.
6. I didn’t eat anything this morning, but I don’t normally eat breakfast and my tummy was pretty freaked out from sleeping so badly.
7. It’s nice to taking a lingering scalding-hot shower with the door open. I know this seems weird, but I like it.
Hopefully this transition into living alone for the first time will go smoothly (well…second, technically, but we do not speak of the other time) and without repercussions.
I didn’t have Zoe last time.
I am going to do great. It is going to be fantastic.