New Place

I hesitate to call it “home” yet.  Still brand new.

Just moved into my own place yesterday.  It’s a one bedroom apartment.  Not super small, but not super huge (which I’d feel uncomfortably lonely in anyway without others).

It’s really close to work, which I love.  It’s pretty centrally located to a lot of my friends and family, which I also love.

However….I didn’t sleep well last night (my first night).  Zoe was on edge too.  She was glued to my side, her face either on my shoulder, chest, or half on my head.  She would growl softly for no disernable reason occasionally.  And I was on an air mattress because yesterday was pouring rain, so we couldn’t move my mattress and boxspring.

Things I learned:

1. I need my bed.  Seriously.  My back is pretty hateful today.  And I think it would help Zoe too.

2. Noises are really magnified in a new place when you’re by yourself.  May need to play music softly for a couple nights.

3. Comforting Zoe did help push away my own freaked-out feelings.  The “I’maloneI’maloneI’malone” mantra was distant in the head when trying to help Zoe settle.

4. I did not self-harm.

5. I managed a bit of bacon and two of these coconut strips like are sort of like candy, but sugar and gluten free.

6. I didn’t eat anything this morning, but I don’t normally eat breakfast and my tummy was pretty freaked out from sleeping so badly.

7. It’s nice to taking a lingering scalding-hot shower with the door open.  I know this seems weird, but I like it.

Hopefully this transition into living alone for the first time will go smoothly (well…second, technically, but we do not speak of the other time) and without repercussions.

I didn’t have Zoe last time.

I am going to do great.  It is going to be fantastic.

15 thoughts on “New Place

  1. vwoopvwoop

    it’s going to be wonderful, i love the idea of playing soft music for a few days to help adjust. seriously, living alone can be SO MUCH FUN. 🙂 you get to do things your way, and you get to feel empowered. i am sending lots of positive thoughts your way, i hope you have some fun making your new place feel like home. 🙂

    1. Pen Post author

      Going to the bathroom without fear of being “heard” has been soooooo anxiety removing. I’m amazed. Maybe that’ll balance out any lonliness.


      I’m excited to decorate it too. Need ideas though…(ponders about a post relating to that)

      ❤ ❤

      1. Pen Post author

        I actually do have a nightlight already!
        Had it at my last place. It serves that purpose and the purpose of making it light enough for me to see to deal with my health issues (i.e. migraine nausea) because I use blackout curtains to prevent sunlight from making my headaches worse.

        What are fairy lights??

  2. weordmyndum

    It always takes a while to make a new space yours and feel safe in it. I hope it happens quickly for you.

    I like using the bathroom/showering with the door open too. Plus, if I shut the door, Winston gets anxious and chews stuff up.

    1. Pen Post author

      Yeah, Zoe does love that she can go with me throughout the whole place.
      And you know, with my whole bathroom anxiety of being “heard” being completely impossible now, I can go much easier. I like that a lot.

      It’s the decorating that’s gonna throw me for a loop. That was always Germany’s area of expertise…. I’ll just have foxes, butterflies, and pickles everywhere. Lol.

    1. Pen Post author

      I am!! And I can’t wait to tell everyone! There will be some pictures once it looks a little less homeless person squatting with an air mattress. Lol.


Please share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s