(Trigger warning- relapsed ED talk)
I never thought a dollar off coupon would trigger me and erase weeks of attempted recovery.
I get home after a long day at work.
I go through the mail.
There are the piles of coupons, as per usual. I rarely use coupons, but I go through them anyway because my father taught me frugality.
There’s a brand of butter I use and I am almost out- set aside. Dog food, but not the one Zoe likes- discard.
Then I see it.
One dollar off a brand of laxatives.
I stare at it.
The walls crumble. I think about how I ate lunch at work and I shouldn’t have. I think about how I haven’t restricted that much at all lately. I think about how I used the last of my laxatives weeks ago and why the hell didn’t I buy more?
But here’s a sign. Here’s the universe telling me,
in my father’s own “coupon language”, that I’m fat, I’m worthless, I’m disgusting.
How about some reduced price help with that?