I officially have valid health insurance as of Friday.
I just got the cards in the mail. It’s so strange to have glossy nice looking cards with my name on them. I’ve mostly been on a parent’s plan before this. Or I had an HSA (health savings account), which works a bit differently.
Anyway, my point in this post is I’m debating on whether to talk more in depth to my doctor about my recent mental-health struggles.
She’s slightly aware of them and has prescribed me stuff in the past when I’ve been bad. I think I may be tilting towards bad again. But I think meds might not necessarily be the right course this time.
I’m actually debating on that whole psychology/therapist route.
Which is terrifying. But I don’t think I can keep living like this. I think with my GP behind me, a rare medical person I trust, I may be able to actually track down someone who could work for me.
I just don’t think I can keep going with the ED picking and cackling at me, the disassociation rearing up, and the depression moaning in the background.
I want help. I just don’t want shitty back-sliding help like last time.
I’m also terrified that someone I know will find out and I’ll be judged.
I’m thinking of talking to Texas about it tomorrow night. I’m supposed to drive her to get another tattoo (her, not me).
I just don’t know what to do.
But I know I can’t keep doing what I’m doing now and live.