This post is a huge thank you.
A thank you to my blog friends, who sent me lovely emails and pictures to cheer me up.
And the wonderful VwoopVwoop even drew me a picture. It’s going on my fridge. Once I can get a color ink printout to do it justice.
I feel very warm and fuzzy to have such lovely supportive friends. So many of you emailed me. It meant a lot. I never thought this could be a place where I could reach out and get that support.
I also had some great real-life friends reach out as best they could. Sometimes I don’t give them enough credit because I’m not forthright or honest about my mental-health 99% of the time. But that isn’t fair to them. They can’t be psychic.
I wish there was a code word I could give friends and family that meant “I’m feeling bad mentally and need you to just sit and talk with me about bullshit because I really don’t want to get into it and have you judge the shit out of me and how messed up I am but I’m scared of what I’ll do if I’m alone right now.”
A mouthful, huh?
My codeword internally used to be “windchimes”.
Also, funny story, I was talking to USAA the other day (a financial company where I have a bank account and my car insurance) and their normal security check system was down, so they had to ask me for my “pass code”. I made this code over 5 years ago. I started freaking out because how the heck am I supposed to remember a code I never use that I made so many years ago.
Then the rep said “I can give you a hint”.
I asked for it and she replied “Danger”.
I laughed and said “windchimes”. The rep sort of chuckled and was like “That’s a strange association”. I agreed. But I know what it means. It’s hardwired into me.
Ahem. That was a big tangent.
The point is, I’m doing better. Not completely well, but better. And I’m so thankful to all of you.
Lots of love,
Pen ❤ ❤ ❤