This post is a huge thank you.

A thank you to my blog friends, who sent me lovely emails and pictures to cheer me up.

Manatee hug

From Sortaginger – a laugh and a smile  (and MintyThings was nice enough to direct me to a whole website of cute manatee pictures!!)




Pen the penguin

Another one from SortaGinger – she can really work those meme generators like magic. I’ve never had my name on one 🙂








And the wonderful VwoopVwoop even drew me a picture.  It’s going on my fridge.  Once I can get a color ink printout to do it justice.

She even got the spotted one perfectly!

She even got the spotted one perfectly!

I feel very warm and fuzzy to have such lovely supportive friends.  So many of you emailed me.  It meant a lot.  I never thought this could be a place where I could reach out and get that support.

I also had some great real-life friends reach out as best they could.  Sometimes I don’t give them enough credit because I’m not forthright or honest about my mental-health 99% of the time.  But that isn’t fair to them.  They can’t be psychic.

I wish there was a code word I could give friends and family that meant “I’m feeling bad mentally and need you to just sit and talk with me about bullshit because I really don’t want to get into it and have you judge the shit out of me and how messed up I am but I’m scared of what I’ll do if I’m alone right now.”

A mouthful, huh?

My codeword internally used to be “windchimes”.

Also, funny story, I was talking to USAA the other day (a financial company where I have a bank account and my car insurance) and their normal security check system was down, so they had to ask me for my “pass code”.   I made this code over 5 years ago.  I started freaking out because how the heck am I supposed to remember a code I never use that I made so many years ago.
Then the rep said “I can give you a hint”.

I asked for it and she replied “Danger”.

I laughed and said “windchimes”.  The rep sort of chuckled and was like “That’s a strange association”.  I agreed.  But I know what it means.  It’s hardwired into me.

Ahem.  That was a big tangent.

The point is, I’m doing better.  Not completely well, but better.  And I’m so thankful to all of you.

Lots of love,
Pen ❤ ❤ ❤

32 thoughts on “Thankful

  1. Wanderer

    So glad to hear you are doing a little bit better! It’s funny how cute animal pictures can make things seem a little brighter. I have a great one I will try to send you!

      1. Pen Post author

        I had it in the post “Tried”. It’s

        I don’t really want to advertise my email obviously for general spammers. I more wanted it for those lovely followers who regularly read 🙂

      2. Wanderer

        I understand! I just knew some people had it, I guess I missed it when I read “Tried.” If you need to delete your comment to free you from spammers feel free. I’ve got it down!

      3. Pen Post author

        So far I haven’t been bombarded with spam emails despite putting it in comments before. I think they just look for that “contact me” or something similar at the top of the page.
        One of these days I need to just register a blog one, like penpaperandcrazy@ some such place. Lol.

      4. Wanderer

        that’s probably true…I don’t think I have enough followers for the spambots to find me yet! That’s not a bad idea…I have too many email addresses as it is…although one is about to be swapped for another

      5. Wanderer

        haha exactly!! one is about to expire (undergrad) and my graduate school one is just getting fired up. My life stages in emails…how unpoetic…haha

      6. Wanderer

        Yes! I think my university would probably do the same but a) they didn’t have a program for my masters topic and b) had to get out of that town!

      7. Pen Post author

        Both excellent reasons to seek another school. I especially like the second one as I would love an excuse to leave my own current town.

      8. Wanderer

        It was a great town to spend undergrad life in, but it was only an hour and a half away from home. Now, I’m going to be a plane ride/a thousand plus miles away!

      9. Wanderer

        well, I have navigated subways and buses when vacationing, but I’ve never had to LIVE with it for years. I’m looking forward to the people watching!

      10. Pen Post author

        I still recommend having at least dummy headphones just in case you want to act like you have better things to do. There can be some really creepos.

  2. sortaginger

    Glad I could help some!

    The bank teller probably thought it was a safe word in the “50 Shades of Gray” sort of way. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

    I say you tell your friends just that, but instead put it like “I am going through some stuff and really need to have someone reach out though I can’t talk about it right now, so when I text ‘windchimes’ or ‘manatee’, just check on me, OK?” Of course, that would only work with friends that you know won’t be too pushy about making you spill your guts or feel worse for not wanting to, but it might work when you are ready.

    Continued hugs, peace, strength. And penguins, manatees and puppies 🙂

    1. Pen Post author

      Haha. She was expecting something like “poodle” or “mustard” I’m sure.

      Yeah, I have a lot of friends who are really pushy about wanting to know what exactly “has me down”. It’s why I just try to see if they have time to hang out without really saying that I need it mentally. Of course, then I get put on the back burner for other plans.

      I think manatee will make an excellent code word 😉

      ❤ ❤ ❤

    1. Pen Post author

      Me too 🙂

      You were so lovely in your help too. I didn’t want to get into too much detail about our personal and lengthy convos, but they mean so much and were monumental in helping ❤ ❤

  3. Grainne

    Better is good…any improvement is good. I’m glad things are a little more peaceful for you again. You’ve been an awesome support to me this last while…kept me smiling. You deserve all the support you can get. 🙂

    1. Pen Post author

      We all do. I’m glad to see that support is so readily and easily given. All of you are such generous people, despite your struggles.

    1. Pen Post author

      Isn’t it??? I smiled so big when I saw it.

      I actually showed it to my mom (she’s aware that I have a private mental-health blog and friends and respects my privacy) and she loved it so much. She and I both love how Vwoop Vwoop got each puppy’s colorings correct 🙂


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