Triggered

Well shit.

I thought things were good.

But then my boss sent me on a mission to get some recorded mortgages at the local county office.  It’s raining and nasty here.  And I like watching my feet when I walk alone.

There are little worm bodies everywhere.

Apparently this is normal for post-storm rainy-ness.  I dunno.

And for some reason it’s violently triggered me.  I have no idea why.  I can sense some sort of memory in the back of my mind, but I can’t reach it.  It’s been awhile since a visual thing has triggered me so badly.

It was such a violent trigger than I splintered slightly and Charlotte came out to flirt with the recorder’s office employee.  It worked out in our favor, as he lowered the copy fee substantially for us, but still.  A bit unsettling.  I could feel her not wanting to return to my office after the errand and an internal fight ensued.

Fortunately, Serefina won and now I’m back here.

Still faintly triggered.

I don’t know why.

dead dry wormy bodies.  looks like the site of a defeated battle. a war lost.  no one sees. no one notices. need to move them. move move move. be nice. nice nice.

6 thoughts on “Triggered

  1. Grainne

    *hugs you* I hate it when things like that happen. Weird you felt this way..I had an odd moment this morning with the worms too. I hope the memory, if it surfaces, isn’t as bad as you fear.

    Reply
  2. vwoopvwoop

    whenever that happened where i used to work, it would be deeply disturbing to me. not that i would call it a trigger of something in the past exactly, but it upset me and i was confused how it didn’t upset everyone else who walked by too. 😦 i’m really sorry it happened, and i’m sorry you had to see it, and i’m sorry it affected you, even though i think it is normal for someone to be affected by seeing that because *it’s upsetting*.

    *safe hugs*

    Reply
    1. Pen Post author

      Hm, I didn’t realize it was a common disturbing thing. I mentioned it to local friend and she was confused by my having problems with it. She was like “It’s just gross that they’re on the sidewalk.”
      Which somehow seemed even more triggering. I dunno. It’s puzzling.
      Thankfully the rain seemed over for now.

      Thanks for the hugs ❤

      Reply

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