Sometimes some lifesaver floaties and rafts need to be tossed out into that muck of a swamp you’ve found yourself in…

Crunch on the lifesavers below when you’re feeling down…

(I admit to being snagged by this idea by a new follower I peeked over at recently.  Ms. Georgia did this post and it inspired me to list some “advice” to both myself and others who might need it.
Obviously it’s catered to myself.  But I’m hoping a couple may strike other people.  I have the warmest thoughts for all of you!  Hang in there!)

1.) You are not your state of health.  You are not that pain you’re feeling.  You are not the nauseous feeling sinking in that stomach of yours.  You are not the throbbing in the temples, the tingling in the hands and legs, the dizziness swirling when you stand too quickly.

2.) It’s okay to have bad food days.  Those days when food just seems like it’s been sent from that personal nemesis and you can’t possibly eat it because that would mean that that evil feeling inside wins.  But it’s also okay to have a little extra the day after.  And if you see that impulse food and it sings a happy little tune of safety; it’s okay to get it and quickly devour it.  No one need know.

3.) Don’t listen to your relatives.  They know nothing about how you actually feel and live your life.  They don’t know how hard you work, how much you try.  They’re little biting remarks could be “well intended”, but that doesn’t even matter.  What matters is how you feel about your own goals.  They’re yours.  Not theirs.

4.) Spend more time at the dog park.  There is nothing more nonjudgmental than an animal.  Especially a dog.  They only care that you can manage to stroke their head momentarily. And they’ll easily forgive if you can’t.  Plus, it involves walking and a bit of sun.  You can always use more of that.  And there’s minimal social contact so don’t worry about how you look.

5.) Put the razor down.  Just for a couple minutes.  Doesn’t have to be forever.  Just set it down for a moment.  Look at your bookshelf.  That book, that one right there?  That was your favorite as a kid/teen/college student.  Why don’t you take a moment to flip through it?  Remind yourself why it’s such a great read.  You can worry about the razor and it’s commands later.

6.) Sex is great.  It is.  But you don’t have to be having it right now.  Don’t do that stupid shit you’re thinking about just for a quick roll.  You know you’ll just regret it anyway.  Focus instead on some hobbies and interests you’ve been putting on the back burner.  When’s the last time you baked?  You don’t have to eat it.  Bring it into work.  They’ll love it.  Glow in those compliments.  Better than shitty sex.  Let the good sex come to you.  Don’t seek it.

7.) Accept hugs.  I know touching is hard.  It is.  But you have got to graciously accept a hug. They mean well.  They aren’t trying to give an opinion or advice you don’t want.  They aren’t trying to take your problems from you.  They aren’t trying to give you more problems.  They simply want to let you know they are there and they hear you and they are concerned.  That’s okay to accept.  There is no fine print.

8.) Don’t take work home.  You don’t need to be superwoman.  It’s sad, but people lose their homes to mortgages they can’t afford.  They grieve.  They move on.  And then they’re able to manage a budget again and fall in love with a new residence.  It’s a house.  You don’t work in medicine.  These aren’t lives.  Stop taking it home and letting it fester and grow like a dark monster in your chest.  Sometimes clients will yell or cry or curse.  But it isn’t you; truly.  They are grieving and you are standing in front of them.  And you know what?  You can totally bring home the heartfelt thankyous and tears of joy when you can save their home.  That’s allowed.  Store them on that imaginary shelf and look at them when the hopeless files stack and pile and topple.

9.) Write.  For the love of god.  Whenever you avoid writing at least a little for multiple days, your mental-health suffers.  You know this.  You don’t have to write some grand amazing thing.  You don’t even have to write in the blog.  Just write.  Something.  You have that journal by your bed.  There are no excuses.  Write a list of things you would wish you had.  Write your favorite books from childhood.  Write about the first time you had a really damn good steak.  A paragraph suffices.  You know it’s worth it.

10.) Hang out with who you want.  Stop worrying about what people think.  This doesn’t mean ignore what YOU think.  If you think they’re a doucher- don’t force yourself.  But if they make you feel good for the most part even though 70% of your friends find him a dick to hang out with.  Well.  Then go somewhere without those friends.  They don’t need to join.  If he’s different to you, it doesn’t mean that different side is wrong.  Just means you bring out something different.  Enjoy it.

6 thoughts on “Lifesavers

  1. Mental Mama

    I well and truly encourage you to really listen to yourself with the one about hugs. The person offering the hug damn near always has nothing but wonderful intentions in mind and really is just wanting to show you how much they care. Take that shit as often as you can get it. Hugs are probably the one thing on this planet that I am really addicted to.

    1. Pen Post author

      Aw, thank you so much for saying this. I know I really do need to be better about hugs. Better than narcotic painkillers sometimes 😉


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