Blood pressure is up again.
Thrown up a couple times. Then once it settled a bit, tried all the emergency/extra meds the doctor gave me that I’m supposed to take when it goes above the danger zone. Not helping.
I’m just really getting so very done with this whole thing. I just want to be a normal person without these issues.
I want to be able to make plans and hangout with people and not worry about a BP spike that causes me to be curled up in pain (or throwing up) for hours.
I want to be able to go to work and not go to the bathroom to cry or throw up, then go back to my desk to force myself through files because I’m out of leave time.
I just want to be healthy.
I feel like I’m being punished. Everything I try to do or change to help makes no difference. I don’t even know what to think anymore. I really don’t.
I’m just going to go home after work and take some sleeping pills. I just can’t deal with this.