“We accept the love we think we deserve” -Stephen Chboksy, “Perks of Being a Wallflower”
I’m feeling a bit divided today.
Basically, Facebook drama has reared its ugly head. Sometimes I wonder why I’m even on Facebook.
I hate that I have to blog about something that seems so very petty, but it’s really upset me.
Army, during this probationary period we’re trying, recently decided to take more of an interest in my social life and what makes me happy.
I decided to share a little about some of my best coping techniques. One of those includes the lovely friendship I have with Rogers. It’s extremely rare for me to feel this emotionally comfortable with someone of the opposite gender.
It’s nice to be able to just honestly tell someone about my emotional state and when I’m triggered and what the trigger entails, etc. I don’t have to be vague. I don’t have to say something like “Oh…it’s just been a stressful day.”
It’s a relief.
I sometimes worry that I take advantage of my friendship with Rogers. It’s hard to have so few friends who really know “me”. Also, he’s one of my few “techy” friends, so he gets bombarded with dumb questions like “How do I take a screenshot on my new iPhone?”
Anyway. Told Army about how Rogers is a really amazing friend. And Army seemed to take a genuine interest. I also realized they’ll probably both be at a Halloween event that I’m helping with this year.
Now, Army is very very Libertarian (conservative leaning) and Rogers is very liberal (socialist ideals). They’ve butted heads over this in the past.
I requested that Army respect Rogers were they to encounter each other at said Halloween event. Army agreed.
Then this morning, he decided to friend Rogers on Facebook. I have no clue why. But within ten minutes, he finds a liberal slanted status and proceeds to reply with patronizing snark.
Rogers, who suffers from some similar anxiety and confrontation-fear that I do, decided to unfriend Army and delete the post. Understandable.
Army then messages me about the situation and tries to appeal to the fact that he “just had to explain something close to [his] heart”. (Note: he means gun legislation)
I feel torn. I understand how Army is about gun control. But I also feel he isn’t understanding how it looks to Rogers. He thought he was being offered something akin to an olive branch, and suddenly it’s being snapped in half.
I dislike conflict. I dislike having to “pick sides”.
Honestly, I’m on Rogers’. Army was completely unreasonable.
But this makes me worry that my romantic life and social life will not be able to easily mix. Ever. This isn’t the first friend of mine that Army has alienated.
How can my relationship with Army be long term if he can’t understand how not to insult my friends?
This really is unnecessary stress, but I can’t seem to force myself to move beyond my concerns.
I’m now thinking about telling Army he can’t come to the Halloween event. Which seems entirely unfair; both to him and myself (I do enjoy his company when he isn’t an asshat).
But I know I won’t enjoy it if it turns into some insult/debate-athon.
I just wish he could shut down that part of him for others like he does for me. But it doesn’t seem to be possible.
I also feel dumb for dumping this petty drama in a post on my blog. I promise to return to more deep and relevant posts in the future.
Thanks for your patience (if you’ve even read this far).
Hope your day is going better than mine.