My surgery is scheduled.  November 22nd.


  1. It truly doesn’t seem far enough away.
  2. They added on extra to what was initially planned, which has wrecked my psyche a bit.
  3. I hate hate hate surgery.
  4. And doctors
  5. My surgeon is a guy. I am more uncomfortable with male doctors than anything.
  6. Due to my precarious health, this surgery is going to have to be in a hospital, even though it’s normally an outpatient procedure.
  7. I hate hospitals
  8. It’s going to be a long recovery time: 10+ days.
  9. Though I finally got through all the red tape to get off work without getting fired (my company is too small to qualify for FMLA or short-term disability), it’s going to be pretty much entirely unpaid leave.  So I have to eat that financial hit.
  10. In addition, I have to pay for surgery (my insurance won’t pay even 50%- more like 30%)


I suppose there are pros. Maybe.
Army has said he’s going to figure out how to be off work. That’s nice. All my friends are talking about bringing me ice cream and jello. Also nice. This surgery should not only solve my high blood pressure, but also possibly my migraines. That would be most excellent.

But I’m mostly just terrified.

November 22nd is not far enough away.

15 thoughts on “Surgery

  1. NotAPunkRocker

    Of course, my like on this post is an “empathy like”. I am glad the job situation got figured out. As far as the bills, they will work with you, though having to owe less would be ideal.

    Hopefully each day between now and then you can concentrate on the benefits this will give you going forward in order to help offset some of the fear and uncertainty you have today.

    You know where to find me if you need me. Hang in there, chica.

    1. Pen Post author

      Thank you. If you get a weird garbled email on the afternoon/evening of the 11/22, you know it’s just me on anesthesia…

      I am really hoping for migraine benefits. That would be utterly fantastic.

  2. Mental Mama

    November 22 is a good amount of time to be able to plan for some stuff – like getting someone to help take care of you and Zoe while you’re recuperating (just in case Army can’t). Will your boss let you work extra before the surgery to help offset so much unpaid time off?

    Are you going to have to stay in the hospital over night? I talked my way out of being there overnight with my hysterectomy. With my tonsils I think I was at the hospital less than 6 hours.

    Hang in there, it’ll be ok. *hugs*

    1. Pen Post author

      No. We have set max weekly hours per my contract and they aren’t allowed to fluctuate. Basically my contract sucks.

      Mom is all lined up to take care of Zoe. And my father actually offered me the use of he or his fiance’s house for my recovery- which is surprisingly nice. He’s been pretty cool.
      I also have a couple friends who have said they’re happy to make sure I “don’t die” those first couple nights as the doctor requested. Though he did not use the term “die”.

      No, no, the surgery is just a daytime thing at the hospital. Tonsils and “other face stuff”. Unless my blood pressure or heart rate goes wonky, then the doctor said he’ll probably hold me overnight.
      But he was adamant about someone watching me the first couple days. He liked the idea of my EMT boyfriend doing it. Heh.

      With the “other face stuff” I kind of want to pretend like I’m a rich West Coast heiress getting plastic surgery or something. I mean, I would never GET plastic surgery, but the pretending makes it feel less stressful.

      1. Mental Mama

        Oh totally. 😉

        Not sure what your doc is going to tell you, but mine told me to stick with soft stuff (no dairy) at first. So what did this dumbass do? I went home and ate a grilled cheese sandwich. I did have to take my pills in mushy food form the first week because they were afraid of something getting caught back there. I have yet to encounter anything that tastes as nasty as lithium.

      2. Pen Post author

        Lmao. Oops. I’m on strict liquid (-eqse, in the case of applesauce and skinless mashed potatoes, which I am allowed) for 7 days.

        Thanksgiving will be pretty rotten.

        It’s also pretty terrible that the ED voice is excited about the excuse to skip Thanksgiving and barely eat for at least 7 days 😦

        Grilled cheese sounds good right now though. XOXO

      3. Mental Mama

        Au contraire my friend – you’ll be wanting to eat plenty. Remind little ED person that your body will need extra calories to work with in order to heal faster. May I suggest some extra chocolate pudding, with the spray whipped cream? 😀

      4. Mental Mama

        Here’s something totally random – do you like eggplant? I’ve got an awesome recipe for it that might fit the bill for while you’re recovering.

      5. Pen Post author

        Hm. Not something I normally eat. I could be down for trying it.

        I know I’m gonna miss pickles so so so much…7-10 WHOLE days!!

      6. Mental Mama

        I’ll email you the recipe. Josh likes it, and he’s kind of weird about food.

        You really don’t want to know what my initial thought was when I read about the pickles and remembered that Army is taking care of you. *hangs head in shame*

  3. kat

    i know how terrifying this is looking toward it happening. but as you said, it will be very beneficial once done. try to not think about it coming up and just instead focus on right now, this moment–you know, mindfulness. it will arrive all on its own without you worrying about it until then. once it get here, it will be done and you will be so much better without the blood pressure and hopefully migraine issues any more. just hang in there. good thoughts and hugs sent your way.

    1. Pen Post author

      Ahhhhh mindfulness. That damn coping technique 😉

      I shall do my best to focus on other things until the date arrives.

      Thanks for your thoughts- you are lovely ❤

  4. vwoopvwoop

    i don’t know if this will make a difference but we will all be thinking of you and worrying about you up to and through this surgery. it isn’t much but sometimes it’s nice to know that people care enough to worry ❤ we love you, friend(s) and we're listening. <333333


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