Things I need today:

1.) The case and/or trial for the asshats, who invaded the family of my best friend’s home and tied them up at gunpoint, to go at quickly and with as little hassle for those I care about. They’ve already been through enough.

2.) My uterus to stop trying to murder itself or whatever the hell it’s doing in there. Whatever it is, it’s way too painful to suffer through at work. Ready for a heating pad and bed.

3.) To find a new job. Being laid off at the end of the year sucks. Even if it’s for the “best reason possible” (my government contract is ending and my company couldn’t find a replacement) so I got many recommendation letters and references/referrals. But I really don’t want to go through unemployment.

4.) Thanksgiving to go swiftly. There is too much family coming into town and having to try and manage two separate Thanksgiving dinners within a 3 hour period is already intimidating me. I just want it to be Friday right now.

5.) My boxes to finish unpacking themselves. I swear to god at my new house the unpacking never ends. I came from a freakin’ one bedroom apartment. Where did all this stuff come from???

6.) My physical-health to remain at a low, manageable level during my (hopefully brief) period of no insurance. I can’t deal with a hefty medical bill at the moment.

7.) My mental-health to continue to cope as best it can with the severe lack of friendship lately. I’m going to keep assuming it’s holidays, or school, or work, or other matters that caused my “pool” of friends and support to suddenly dry up, even if that darker part of me assumes it’s me (of course it’s you- you’re a terrible friend). But I can push through this. With the help of the pills and the powder, I can deal with it myself.

Gentle thoughts to all of you.

Disclaimer: #7 is referring to friends I deal with in person. I know many of my followers on here (and one I talk to via email/messaging) are very supportive. And I appreciate that. It’s just hard when I don’t have someone to literally sit next to me and make me focus on something besides my own head.

15 thoughts on “Needs

  1. NotAPunkRocker

    “It’s just hard when I don’t have someone to literally sit next to me and make me focus on something besides my own head.”

    That times 100. I am there with you on that. Especially this time of year.

    I am sorry you are having to deal with so much at once, I hope some of those things resolve ASAP. ((hugs))

    1. Pen Post author

      Thank you. I know you’re having it rough too. I’m sorry we can’t just pop over to each other’s places and watch dumb TV together.

  2. Mental Mama

    All you can do is take it one little bit at a time and know that we’re here for you as best we can be. I hope the holiday is a stress-free as possible and that you’re able to find a great new job before this one runs out. ❤

  3. manyofus1980

    Thinking of you. The holidays are rough I know. Hopefully your dinners will all go smoothly. Good luck finding a new job, not an easy task in these times we’re in. Sending lots of love, and support ❤ xoxo

    1. Pen Post author

      I’m planning to tackle it a bit at a time. I think that should make it a little more manageable. Thank you for your thoughts. Always nice to have that extra support 🙂

    1. Pen Post author

      So very true. And welcome!

      It is much like trying to drive down a road covered in potholes. At night. In a blizzard. So mostly just a lot of luck and hoping the potholes are in the same spots you remember.

  4. Hannah

    It’s never easy to be lonely, but this is one of the hardest times of year for anyone who’s feeling even a little bit down. You can push through it, Pen. Warm thoughts ❤

    1. Pen Post author

      Thank you very much. I think I’m managing pretty well.. Things have been good for awhile now. I am determined to start out 2015 strong 🙂

    1. Pen Post author

      Ugh, yeah. I try to avoid talking about that sort of stuff on Facebook. That whole lack of anonymity and such. But it’s okay. I think I’ll manage. 2015 is going to be awesome. I’m determined.


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