I’ve spent the past couple weeks struggling with reality. I’ve been unemployed so long that time has lost meaning.
And for someone who’s main struggle and coping issues stem from disassociation, losing even more track of time is unraveling me from reality.
Time is measured merely in daylight or lack of daylight. There are no hours, no minutes, no days.
I curl into my nest and turn on Netflix.
And my superhero power rises to the surface.
See, I can find the show or movie most likely to overwhelm me with feels in less than 5 minutes. Call it a gift.
-In Your Eyes
-Take this Waltz
I could go on.
I really should attempt to watch things that will tether me more to this reality. But it’s been hard. The most I can manage are horror movies. Those kind of help. In the sense that I’m aware life is not like that. Unlike when I watch the mental-health-like cerebral movies and shows where I find myself entwined with the characters.
I wish something would change soon.
I may float away.