The Netflix Solution

I’ve spent the past couple weeks struggling with reality. I’ve been unemployed so long that time has lost meaning.

And for someone who’s main struggle and coping issues stem from disassociation, losing even more track of time is unraveling me from reality.

Time is measured merely in daylight or lack of daylight. There are no hours, no minutes, no days.

I curl into my nest and turn on Netflix.

And my superhero power rises to the surface.

See, I can find the show or movie most likely to overwhelm me with feels in less than 5 minutes. Call it a gift.

-Sense8
-Cake
-Skeleton Twins
-Drinking Buddies
-The Hours
-Neverwas
-In Your Eyes
-Life Partners
-Take this Waltz

I could go on.

I really should attempt to watch things that will tether me more to this reality. But it’s been hard. The most I can manage are horror movies. Those kind of help. In the sense that I’m aware life is not like that. Unlike when I watch the mental-health-like cerebral movies and shows where I find myself entwined with the characters.

I wish something would change soon.

I may float away.

11 thoughts on “The Netflix Solution

  1. swtswtsue

    I can totally relate to your post! I seem to get overly involved without even trying. Sometimes I try to stay away from certain movies for this very reason.

    Cake, The Hours, and Take this Waltz are all worth watching in my book. Just be careful with Cake… I found myself becoming entwined with Jennifer Aniston’s character (some may debate this, but I found it easy to do.) I just watched “Boyhood” as well as “Men, Women & Children,” and “It Follows.” Oh, “White Bird in a Blizzard,” too. “Men, Women & Children” didn’t get the greatest reviews (but I really enjoyed it, along with”It Follows” and “White Bird.”

    Looking forward to reading your reviews! “It Follows” was a pretty decent (and simple) horror movie. Was a really nice distraction for me.

    Warm thoughts sent your way. ❤

    Reply
    1. Pen Post author

      That was my issue when I watched Cake. So much joining with Jennifer Aniston’s character…thankfully managed to disengaged eventually. Probably Disney.

      I watched “It Follows” the other day and found it utterly boring. Lol. Completely predictable (especially to a horror-nerd such as myself) and trite characters. But distracting, sure.

      Thank you muchly for the thoughts 🙂

      Reply
    1. Pen Post author

      Doing my best. It’s really hard when unemployed and so little friends locally. Most I can do is some dog park stuff with Zoe, then housework. I can’t trust myself to do stuff like walking around a store or mall because it can trigger compulsive alters to try and “sneak buy”. But I’m trying. It’s the best I can manage.

      Reply
      1. Mental Mama

        Doing your best is all any of us can do, and trying is a good sign. 🙂 I do a lot better when I have routines, not sure if everyone is like that. Is there a hobby that you already have the supplies for that you could set aside time for each day? Just a thought. ❤

  2. WeeGee

    I’m sending you love and gentle hugs because right now, this post makes a whole lot of sense to me. Strength to your elbow sweeties xoxo

    Reply
  3. manyofus1980

    Losing time is so tough! Can you set up a time each day where you get out of the house and go for a walk with zoe? Or where you meet a friend or something for coffee, a chat, etc? Structure is good! XXoo

    Reply
    1. Pen Post author

      It really is a bitch. Excuse the language. I do go for a walk daily, assuming my autoimmune condition can handle it. We have a walking path next to us. Unfortunately I live in a deserted/rural type area, so I don’t run into people or anything. Time is still pretty meaningless, even with the walks. They’re mostly for Zoe anyway.

      I have very few local friends. I try to meet with those I can, but it’s very sporadically. I’ve been trying to join a new local social community. Hopefully that’ll continue to go well.

      Thank you for the thoughts ❤

      Reply

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