Loss

This post is dedicated to Texas
(even though she doesn’t currently read my blog) 

Early this morning her grandmother passed away.  This is a woman who raised, sheltered, and loved Texas unconditionally while her mother and father struggled with a crippling drug habit that constantly threatened to destroy Texas’s childhood.
She has been battling cancer for months now- and this morning, she was finally called to rest and doesn’t have to be in pain anymore.

I wrote this for Texas; my best friend, the strongest woman I know- who is almost singlehandedly handling holding up her family and being supportive and helping with the necessary arrangements that need done, while also grieving for a woman who was essentially her mother.

I have been lucky enough to not have experienced the loss of a close family member (with the exception of my stepbrother, but he and I were not particularly close), so this poem is more of a empathetic supportive attempt at understanding loss.
______________________________________________________________

Loss

A girl thrown into darkness
A world apart
Nothing but a vast emptiness
A broken heart

These scratched out feelings
Can’t even express
Unending talk of angels and wings
When just trying to suppress

The need to run, to hide
To dig and dig and dig
That hole could hold her

While that sensation
Reverse déjà vu
On the edge of the mind

Something that can’t be forgotten
Remembered
Kept
Cherished

Stop saying those words:
“Are you okay?”
Nothing is okay
But despite that hole calling
Singing it’s sweet refrain
She manages to stand tall
A woman
Shining with all the strength, courage, and love
Of loss

Protected: My Girls

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Caffeine

I am frustrated with my lack (or perhaps someone else’s…grr) of foresight to bring enough caffeine for me to work on getting our office’s foreclosure workshop for this evening fully prepared.

I shall be able to manage, I’m sure, but it would be a lot easier if I had the wondrous drug of keeping me awake.

I’m also trying not to get too distraught over the idea of how much socializing I will have to do with clients, city officials, and attorneys at the event tonight.

At least our mother will be there. Long story. Wait. Maybe not. Our department supervisor said he needed a couple attorneys at the workshop to speak about the legal aspects of foreclosure, so we offered him our mother’s number. There. Not so long a story.

I will not cause a switching frenzy. I can do this. I can do this.

-Serefina