Figure it out your damn self

Can I just pretend I don’t have any legal expertise?  A 8+ paralegal experience and plans of going for a proper law degree.
Can I pretend I am not planning on going to law school? (eventually. hopefully. maybe. if money and mental-health allow.)

I wish it was legal to get a bar license under a pseudonym so no one except really close friends knew I was practicing. 

And I really wish I wasn’t a paralegal today.

One of my friends who I don’t see often asked me for some “unofficial legal advice” late yesterday/this morning.  Without going into too much detail, let’s just say it was regarding a small claims matter and trying to get money out of an ex.

I really didn’t want to touch it with a 50 foot pole.

But she’s a friend I’ve known a loooooong time (longer than Germany, actually), and even though our friendship has had many ups and downs, I am a sucker for that ol’ nostalgia.  Ever the Taurus.

So I tried.  I gave her the disappointing news that she didn’t have much of a case as she wasn’t technically legally involved in the matter (technically it’s a matter regarding Texas, but Texas isn’t super interested in pursuing it).  Said friend got pissed.  Obviously not what she wanted to hear.

I gave the best disclaimer I could.  I told her my expertise is mostly criminal and property law and I know very little about small claim civil matters.  And that I am not an attorney.

She send me a nasty text this morning saying a “real attorney” told her she has a “really good case” on her hands.

Okay.

Fine.

Next time, how about you don’t come to me for a free legal opinion.  Just figure it out your damn self.  I don’t need this resentment.  I don’t need the drama.  And I certainly don’t need the stress.

I hate being the only legal-type person in my group of friends.  I’m constantly the one called or texted at weird hours and told “Omg, I have to know what to do about this matter right now“.  Like I’m on a freakin’ retainer for them.

So I’m done.  I shall be playing dumb any time anyone asks my advice.
I have no idea how to go about handling that situation. 
Why don’t you consult a real attorney? 
Yeah, you do have to drop at least 300 bucks. 
Funny how free legal advice is scarce, huh?

I don’t need this.