I’ve been handling the work aspects of this system for many years now.
Our jobs have entailed highly complex analytical and logical aspects since the first time we were gainfully employed. It is the main reason that a lot of doctors/therapists have hesitated to diagnose us with an official DID disorder. They don’t find it “feasible” that someone who has dealt with lost time, multiple personalities, abuse and neglect as a child could handle any sort of career that involve legal expertise and adhering to state and federal financial program guidelines.
I am proud to say that I have (at times, single-handedly) managed to keep us from total financial destitution by forcing myself to handle our day-to-day employment despite struggling with triggers, switching, and self-destructive alters.
The trouble becomes that I’ve been given a label of “protector alter” because I am able to overcome any other alter (at least in a job situation, I’ve not tried in other situations) and my “always-sober” aspect. That is, if another alter has taken something, be it drugs or alcohol, it does not affect me.
However, I’m not really sure if protector is a correct designation for myself. Rika is the one who can take over at will in any situation where the body needs protecting. Granted, I’ve never attempted that, but that is because I’ve had no compulsion to.
I don’t find protecting the body my primary care or goal. I find myself concerned primarily with making sure we do well at work. And I excel at this. Because of the way I’ve tailored myself in the system, I detest social situations.
But today our office is having a bowling event where attendance is mandatory. I’m not sure how best to handle this social/work situation. I do not wish to socialize or bowl, but I suspect business will be discussed and the social-type alters have no idea how to respond to such topics.
I have a mere three hours to discover some sort of happy-medium solution. Perhaps we can manage a dual-switching comfortably for a couple hours. Normally rapid repeated switching gives the body severe pain, migraines, dizziness, and exacerbates the medical condition we’ve been diagnosed with.
Perhaps I can just suck up my distaste for socializing for one evening.
-Serefina
pen, paper, and crazy 