Army and I

Apparently we aren’t speaking.  I wasn’t aware of this.  I’m not even sure what the hell I did.  Something to do with some new friends I made recently.  He inferred that he basically thinks I’m screwing around on him.  Apparently I’m not allowed to have friends he doesn’t know. 

Shadow Dragon and Texas both think the problem is the husband of the new friends (it’s a couple) is ex-army as well, so Army’s all uncomfortable because technically he’s my only friend who served in that branch of the military (I do live in an Air Force town).  But I made a big deal about them being a married couple and older and only helping me with some of depression and mental issues by being lovely supportive friends.

At first Army was just sort of quiet about them when I said I’d made new friends and described them a bit.

And then they helped me find my new apartment.  After I told Army that, he hinted that I now owed them sexual favors (in a biting, spiteful way) and hasn’t spoken to me since.

I wish it didn’t affect me as much as it is.

I was so happy about this new apartment.

Now I just feel…lonely and depressed again.  Living alone is currently sucking.

My hot water heater decided to not work yesterday inexplicably.  Thankfully it magically fixed itself this morning and I was able to take a shower.  I hope it stays working now.

There’s a baby next door (despite the landlord swearing no children lived anywhere nearby) that has colic or something because it’s been wailing and screaming for about 4 days straight.  Walls are thin here.

I’m just…not sure about this whole living alone thing.

Maybe I’m not cut out for it…

New House!

I went and looked at the possible rental I will be moving into.

I think I’m in love.

It has gorgeous hardwood floors, a decent sized backyard (that Zoe will love!), a big front porch and a deck in the back.  There is a pretty kitchen (not huge, but not too tiny) with pretty mock-granite counter tops and new appliances. It has two bedrooms on the main floor, a huge basement (Grey called dibs on- ahh, teenage boys), and a large upstairs that is all one big room, with it’s own second bathroom.

And Mom has said the upstairs is all mine.

I’m trying not to just start imagining what I’m going to do with it, but it’s hard.  I want to just start doodling and looking up cheap and crafty decorating ideas.

I’m so excited.

Please cross your fingers for you me!!

Two sides to a coin

This evening was going well as I happily hung out with friends and starting filling out a rental app for a house that Mom and I are considering. We’re excited.

Army and I are texting back and forth here and there and out of nowhere he tells me he got a notice from our previous landlords saying we owe almost $2000 for things we didn’t do (it claims we “changed circuitry” when we plugged lights into a wall).

I start freaking out because I’m supposed to attest to perfect rental history in this application I’m filling out. History I thought I had. And I so do not want to ruin this chance for my mother.

I’m stressing and everyone; friends, Mom, Army, are trying to calm me down.

Amazingly, it’s Army who does it. I don’t even know how exactly. He’s learned my buttons and trigger so well it’s scary.

He then continues to improve my night by telling me he has something amazing and special planned for us the next time he gets a chunk of time off work.  That he wants to make up for not being able to see me.  That he wants to pamper me.

I’m trying so hard not to be charmed because I hate that vulnerable feeling.

But I am. Utterly and completely.

This night is ending with me smiling and daydreaming about ridiculous possibilities…

Silly girl.

Clash of the Alters

We’re having a bit of a debate over what to do this weekend.

Serefina and Rika think we need to work on packing up our stuff to move and starting to get stuff stored at the father’s house.

Claire has made tentative plans with Jeff, but she’s the only one who wants to keep those.  Some of the others got skittish with how close he’s trying to get to us so quickly.

Roms wants to go over to one of our closest friends’ house- we’ll call her “Texas” (she’s from Texas).  We haven’t hung out with Texas in awhile and in addition to being one of our closest friends, she’s one of our few “Pagan friends” (hence why Roms probably wants to hang out with her).

Armes and myself just want to stay home all weekend, though I suppose that’s not a big surprise.  But I feel it might be extra-important due to our crazy week. I’m not sure if socializing is a wise idea right now. But then Roms argues that this new alter who’s done crazy stuff doesn’t come out around other people at all.
Fair point.

Charlotte obviously wants to figure out a way to have sex.  She won’t touch Jeff, so she hates Claire’s idea, and everyone else’s because they don’t involve any males.

Ahh, the life of a multiple.

-Midori