Older puppies

This past Sunday I went to a mini-puppy playdate with two of Zoe’s puppies that a friend adopted.  The lucky boys are my favorites and get to grow up together- I was so happy to find them such a good home.

Their newborn nicknames were Red and Japan, but their new family has named the Brutus and Bandit.
Brutus is the one who is almost the spitting image of Zoe and Bandit is the one with the white stripe.

Enjoy!

A Puppy Update

It seems like the community is a bit dark and sad lately; so I wanted to publish something that might make a lot of you smile.

Recently, one of my mother’s friends who adopted a couple of Zoe’s puppies sent us a funny picture of one of them!

Those of you who kept up with the puppies will know this rascal as “Japan”, but his new family renamed him Bandit.

I think it’s a perfect name!

King of the table!

 

Hope it gave you a smile!  Happy Friday to all of you and lots of hugs and warm thoughts ❤ ❤ ❤

List

Still feeling very low/suicidal, so all I can manage this morning is an emotionless list.

1. Sorry for blowing up the Reader yesterday.  My phone glitched and posted like, 12 copies of my “Feeling Low” post.  The original is all that remains now, so if you commented on/liked one of the copies, it got deleted.  Oops.

2.  Three puppies have been adopted now.  Including my two favorites (Red and Japan).  One puppy has been “reserved” to be adopted by this weekend coming up.

3.  Families who adopted the puppies have said they are doing good.

4. I’m going to Chicago this weekend to see my grandfather.

5.  With my father.

6.  In the same car.

7.  For six hours. (That’s 12 hours round trip)

8.  He booked us both hotel rooms (not the same one).  He won’t let me stay with my grandparents.

9. With the exception of one very lovely friend that I had a distracting late dinner with Saturday, I’ve been feeling very socially-distant.  I haven’t spent time with anyone else in over a week.

10.  Army hasn’t spoken to me since Wednesday night.

11.  I have no idea why.

12.  I can’t find it in myself to really care.

13.  I’m not exactly sure why I’m feeling so low/suicidal, except I just don’t want to be in this life anymore.  I don’t want to deal with these obstacles.  These difficulties.  These events.  These goals.

14.  I can’t find the strength to change my own life into something worth living.

15. I own too many suicide related movies.

Puppies Outside Adventure

I don’t have much to say today, so instead I leave you with a sprinkling of pictures from the puppies’ adventure outside this past weekend.

The strange looking little pointy-eared terrier mix in the background of this one is my mother’s older dog Tippy.  She was very good with the puppies.
Zoe did not give two shits about my mother’s two older dogs (the other is camera shy).  I thought it was a nice safe introduction to non-family dogs for the puppies.

They’re doing very well lately.  Personalities are starting to finally emerge.

Also, a note, there was a miscount initially.  They are all boys except for a single lone female.  She’s the smallest brindle/brown one.

Better

Doing better today.

Here’s a picture of my medication for ya’ll to enjoy!

You can vaguely see further doses in the blurry background.  They have a cute lil’ closed off pen/area now to keep them safe from the dangerous things apartments have.

Update (relating to puppies)

Hey all.

I don’t have much to say about myself right now.  I’m not bad, but not good.  Very much in a limbo state.

Work has been a wicked stresser lately and Army and I are apparently fighting (perhaps more on that later, if I feel like it).

But today is Texas’s birthday, so we’re celebrating later.  I am determined to remain positive and be a good friend.

And the puppies have officially opened their eyes and are moving around my kitchen (their “nook” that I’ve blocked off), attempting play, exploring, bugging the shit out of Zoe.

Here are some pics for you lovely bloggers…

I promise to have better ones soon.  My phone takes pretty crummy pics, I know.

Hope all of you are doing well!

Interlude of Puppies

More puppy interlude.

I’m sure you guys hate it 😉

Zoe is being a surprisingly good and attentive mom

They look like lil’ mole rats right now…

As for how she’s doing…
This morning I let her out to go to the bathroom.  I didn’t bother with a leash because I took her collar off to make her more comfortable with the puppies and she demanded to go out faster than I could put her collar on.  She’s a pretty obedient dog in general, so I wasn’t too worried.

Suddenly, a stray dog comes up while she’s peeing and her “ridge” (this fur along her back that raises in a hyena-like response to anger, anxiety, or fear) is immediately up.   I’m worried about her being aggressive, but she politely greets the strange canine.  Now I’m worried about her running off down the alley after it.

Suddenly she turns to me, wide-eyed and trills a little whine, bolts back to the apartment door, goes up on her hind legs and trills at me again.  I immediately open the door and she scurries inside and checks on her puppies immediately.

No worries about my girl’s maternal instinct now.   She’s a good mom.  I’m proud of her.

Puppies

Zoe officially had puppies. They’re doing well. A nice mood-lifter too.

Zoe

I recently found out Zoe is pregnant.

I’m not exactly sure how, since I watch her like a hawk constantly.  Well, I mean I do know how, I just don’t know when it could have happened.

But it did.

I have mixed feelings.

I can’t help but smile whenever I feel them kicking, poking, or squirming in there.  It invokes that part of me I thought died.

But invoking that part of me has also been triggering as hell and I can feel myself fighting to fracture and self-destruct.

I’m trying to focus on the positive.

Also: puppies are cute!

I didn’t want to be rude and take a pic of just her tummy area. Trust me, she’s slightly tubby now. In a cute preggo way.

She’s also super affectionate and cuddly lately. More so than usual. And less active.