Still feeling very low/suicidal, so all I can manage this morning is an emotionless list.
1. Sorry for blowing up the Reader yesterday. My phone glitched and posted like, 12 copies of my “Feeling Low” post. The original is all that remains now, so if you commented on/liked one of the copies, it got deleted. Oops.
2. Three puppies have been adopted now. Including my two favorites (Red and Japan). One puppy has been “reserved” to be adopted by this weekend coming up.
3. Families who adopted the puppies have said they are doing good.
4. I’m going to Chicago this weekend to see my grandfather.
5. With my father.
6. In the same car.
7. For six hours. (That’s 12 hours round trip)
8. He booked us both hotel rooms (not the same one). He won’t let me stay with my grandparents.
9. With the exception of one very lovely friend that I had a distracting late dinner with Saturday, I’ve been feeling very socially-distant. I haven’t spent time with anyone else in over a week.
10. Army hasn’t spoken to me since Wednesday night.
11. I have no idea why.
12. I can’t find it in myself to really care.
13. I’m not exactly sure why I’m feeling so low/suicidal, except I just don’t want to be in this life anymore. I don’t want to deal with these obstacles. These difficulties. These events. These goals.
14. I can’t find the strength to change my own life into something worth living.
15. I own too many suicide related movies.