Tag Archives: side effects

Not My Face

Officially feeling more crazy.

I’m not sure if this is related to the auditory issues; but now my face does not feel like my face.

That’s the only way I can explain it.  I have no good words to describe this sensation.  It’s sort of disassociative, but different that I’ve usually felt.  It feels very physical, as opposed to “mental”.

Like, my face is weird shaped.  Has my face always been shaped like this?  Has the nose always been there?  The mouth?  The ears?  I don’t think so.  I think it’s moved.  Shifted, switched, squiggled to a different place.

Ok.  Don’t go completely mental.

How the hell am I supposed to say this to a nurse?  They’ll commit me.

I’m not dumb.  I know this is like, schizo or psychosis type talk.  I will not go back to a ward.  Nope.  Nopeity nope nope.

I just want my face to go back to normal.

Jumbled Words

I’m dealing with what I believe to be a strange side effect this morning.  Words are jumbling and not making sense. 

For example: I’m at the law firm this morning and when going over a task list with my mother (the attorney) there are a couple times I literally cannot understand what she is saying.  It’s like it’s gibberish.  And she isn’t saying any complicated law terms that I may have forgotten.  It’s like she’s just saying basic office language but my brain can’t seem to comprehend it.

It is extremely upsetting.

I can’t even get across how scary the feeling is.

I’m not sure how bad it even is.  Sometimes it seems like I have no trouble.  A couple minutes later everything seems Russian.

Have any of you heard of situation like this?  I double checked the side effects of all the meds I’m on and none of them list something like this.  I’m not sure how to handle it.

This brief post has taken me about 30 minutes with going over and changing words and making sure it makes sense.  Awful, right?  And I apologize if I missed anything that is still confusing.  I don’t seem to have as much trouble saying things as comprehending them, so I think it’s ok.

I’m really nervous but I don’t know if it’s just dumb Monday morning stuff or something to be legitimately concerned about.

Any ideas would be appreciated…


Hell of a drug – Elavil

Since I am mainly in the mental-health blog circle here on WordPress, with the occasional floating follower from somewhere else (that I also love!) I wanted to share my brief experience with the drug Elavil.

I was actually not prescribed it for merely mental-health reasons.  It was mostly prescribed because it has been showed to be effective for migraines and chronic pain treatment (both issues I have).  It is also used as an anti-depressant, depression being something I also struggle with (surprise, surprise).

My doctor was interested in trying it because it’s main side effect is acute drowsiness, and she knows I struggled badly with insomnia.
She gave me a prescription for a 75mg dose last week (30 pills with refills) and told me to wait until the holiday weekend to test it out. She knew my previous experience with pills that cause “drowsiness”. They knock me out like a freight train within 20 minutes.

I waited until Thursday night, after I had picked at both my father’s and mother’s Thanksgiving meals.  I took it at about 9pm, stayed surprisingly coherent until around midnight.

It didn’t exactly cause drowsiness after midnight…

I was practically narcoleptic for the next 24+ hours.

Poor Shadow Dragon and Puppy had to deal with me staggering to the kitchen for water a couple times, only to almost fall asleep standing up.  I then meandered back to my room, popped in a movie to “try and keep me awake” and promptly fell asleep.

Army is texting me regularly to try and let me know what he plans for us for our two-day weekend extravaganza.  I reply every four hours or so, causing him concern.  It probably didn’t help that my texted replies were vague, riddled with typos/autocorrects, and practically incomprehensible.  He finally asks if I’m drunk or something.  I manage to tell him about the new drug I’m trying (that I am never taking it again) but that I’m worried it will not wear off by Saturday morning when I’m supposed to drive to his place.

Army calmly reassures me that he’ll pick me up if I don’t feel comfortable driving.  I don’t reply that it isn’t that I’m worried about a bit of foggy mental abilities- but the ability to remain in an upright position.

Fortunately, the sleepiness wears off by 9:30am on Saturday morning.

Unfortunately, my muscles are even more sore, tight, and throbbing than usual.  Probably because when I’m this drug-induced semi-coma, I do not move except for the awful nightmares this Elavil-demon causes, which cause me to twitch spasmodically.

Here’s a chart to help you break down how awesome (not) this drug is.  It’s a pie chart because I’m hungry.  For pie.

Notice the supposed “drowsiness” and “anti-depressant” effects have been replaced with the real effects of “narcoleptic semi-coma” and “nightmare inducing”, respectively.

Now to daydream about pie.

Suddenly off meds

Being suddenly off 8 different meds is not a good thing.

As mentioned a couple times in the pass, we have severe hypertension.
Doctors can’t figure out a real cause for it, and it doesn’t respond well to medication.  Because of the lack of response, we’ve been prescribed 8 separate blood pressure medications to make it barely managable (readings are still 180/125 frequently).

However, due to some financial constraints and a mild disaster with the car that we had to fork over $200 to fix, we ran out of money on Friday.

Our meds were all due for a refill on Friday.

The combined cost of those stupid meds is over $400 (because we have no health insurance), which we certainly can’t pay at the moment.

And now we’ve been off of them for over 72 hours.

It’s migraine, nausea, dizziness, numb hands/feet, and back pain galore.  Not to mention our readings are getting scary.

We don’t want to end up back in the ER or ICU…

And the only possible solution is begging money from Daddy….

But we really really really really don’t want to do that.  That always comes with stipulations that we can’t handle right now.

Then again, we can’t handle not being on the meds.

We don’t know what to do…