Figure it out your damn self

Can I just pretend I don’t have any legal expertise?  A 8+ paralegal experience and plans of going for a proper law degree.
Can I pretend I am not planning on going to law school? (eventually. hopefully. maybe. if money and mental-health allow.)

I wish it was legal to get a bar license under a pseudonym so no one except really close friends knew I was practicing. 

And I really wish I wasn’t a paralegal today.

One of my friends who I don’t see often asked me for some “unofficial legal advice” late yesterday/this morning.  Without going into too much detail, let’s just say it was regarding a small claims matter and trying to get money out of an ex.

I really didn’t want to touch it with a 50 foot pole.

But she’s a friend I’ve known a loooooong time (longer than Germany, actually), and even though our friendship has had many ups and downs, I am a sucker for that ol’ nostalgia.  Ever the Taurus.

So I tried.  I gave her the disappointing news that she didn’t have much of a case as she wasn’t technically legally involved in the matter (technically it’s a matter regarding Texas, but Texas isn’t super interested in pursuing it).  Said friend got pissed.  Obviously not what she wanted to hear.

I gave the best disclaimer I could.  I told her my expertise is mostly criminal and property law and I know very little about small claim civil matters.  And that I am not an attorney.

She send me a nasty text this morning saying a “real attorney” told her she has a “really good case” on her hands.



Next time, how about you don’t come to me for a free legal opinion.  Just figure it out your damn self.  I don’t need this resentment.  I don’t need the drama.  And I certainly don’t need the stress.

I hate being the only legal-type person in my group of friends.  I’m constantly the one called or texted at weird hours and told “Omg, I have to know what to do about this matter right now“.  Like I’m on a freakin’ retainer for them.

So I’m done.  I shall be playing dumb any time anyone asks my advice.
I have no idea how to go about handling that situation. 
Why don’t you consult a real attorney
Yeah, you do have to drop at least 300 bucks. 
Funny how free legal advice is scarce, huh?

I don’t need this.

10 thoughts on “Figure it out your damn self

  1. Mental Mama

    I feel for you. Folks in professions that get to charge big bucks are often called on by friends to give free advice, even when it’s entirely inappropriate. Hope your day starts looking up.

  2. Grainne

    Is it a full moon or something? My work place is causing me stress too today. Well…and the school, and D (he’s so good at causing stress). I seem to be getting it from all sides today. Sorry to hear you’re having one of those days too.

    I know (sort of) how annoying those free legal questions can be. I work in health care so, even though I am not a doctor of anything, I get asked questions about broken bones and nasal spray like I’ve been treating them for years.

    I am about to make a “leave me the hell alone” sign for my door today. Would you like a copy for yours? xxxx

    1. Pen Post author

      Please! In the most threatening font that exists 😉

      Yeah, my boyfriend gets that a lot (being an EMT).
      He usually answers with “Consult a doctor. I don’t know that non-emergency stuff anyway. Come back to me when you’re bleeding uncontrollably.”

      I think we both need a girls night with movies and margaritas. Why do you live so far????

      1. Grainne

        I do not know! This is definitely not fair, the distance. We’ll have to have a drink on Skype together or something.

        Lol…poor Army. I can imagine it’s much, much worse for him. I like his answer though…I’ll have to come up with something good.

        Ok. Off to look for threatening font. 😉

      2. Pen Post author

        Oooh, I like the Skype idea. And we can pop in the same movie at our respective residences. Excellent plan, m’lady!

        He is good at off-the-cuff responses. He usually sasses me with “Dammit, I’m not a doctor.” (making fun of Star Trek), but he answers more for me than other people. Of course, I give him more legal advice than most people. But we don’t question each other. That’s the difference. Most of the time, at least 😉

        Maybe like, barb-wire-y or spikey. Hmmm…

  3. vwoopvwoop

    aughhh! how rude! people can be so selfish and thoughtless. they ask for your help, which takes up energy, and then when you give it to them they get mad at you. people are smegging ridiculous.

    i think you’ve got the right idea — keep your effort and energy for yourself for awhile. ❤

    i'm sorry this happened. what a butthead.


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